Hi! My name is Stacey and I am Mom to two awesome and very funny teenagers, one of whom has multiple disabilities. I’m also a wife, daughter, devoted friend and keeper of a very neurotic German Shepherd Dog whom I adopted with a broken leg from the SPCA on my 40th birthday, apparently as some type of mid-life crisis. I am also probably countless other things to countless other people, hopefully mostly good, although that might depend on the day and circumstance.
In my former life, before I “retired” to care and advocate for my son, I was an attorney – a career I actually quite enjoyed – and a career that seems light years away from what I am doing now, which is leading marriage courses and community groups, women’s groups and starting to develop a marriage mentoring program at my church – activities that challenge me, bring me out of my comfort zone, and get me closer to God, my husband and where I feel I am meant to be – and all activities that wouldn’t have ever taken place had my life ever gone as I had planned.
Since we learned of Matthew’s severe brain damage in utero, almost 17 years to the day as I am writing this, my life has been filled with incredibly unexpected twists and turns. Plans and dreams were never fulfilled and yet, others that I never considered replaced them and came true. My life has been filled with the recognition that it is God’s plan, not my plan, and that He is in control of what happens, not me. That has been the hardest thing for this Type-A Control freak to accept and every few days I need to remind myself of that. Sometimes I think I really ought to just staple a note to my head so I see it – of course, the problem with that is I am often racing so much to control everything that I don’t take the time to look in the mirror throughout the day and I would never see it. But I digress…
I guess the point is, there are so many things in my life that I now have and appreciate more because of the major turn my life took because of Matthew ‘s severe and numerous disabilities. I am by no means saying that life is easy because it is not. I spend more time advocating and contesting denials, fixing problems, trying to find coverage, and physically preventing Matthew from hurting himself or being hurt, etc. than I get to actually spend enjoying my time with him, but having him in my life and watching how that has changed my life and the lives of my husband and daughter makes me recognize that the collateral blessings of his disabilities and the twists and turns of my life are too numerous to count.
Perhaps this blog will do them justice.